Living with Depression
You know you're depressed when your co-workers send you a get well card that says "by a vote of 10 to 5, we wish you a speedy recovery."
My hmo has a book they give you to help you figure out what's wrong with you so you can have the answers to the questions they're going to ask you when you call them to find out what's wrong with you. Anyways, I looked up depression in their book, and after checking five on a list of eight, I shut the book saying to myself, "what the fuck do they know."
Yeah, well maybe I'm not alone in this. How can any liberal not be depressed these days? Our common sense tells us that no one in this country is going to vote for a party made up of depressed people. Ain't going to happen. And liberals know that. So, fuck yeah, I'm depressed.
Still, retiring to a quaint and picturesque monastery where you can just grow roses and meditate isn't really an option, what with reality demanding attention and all. We all have to maintain. It ain't easy. For some of us, it's more difficult that it should be. My depression is beginning to debilitate me. I am less able to keep my opinion to myself than I need to be. I just want to be left alone. The problem with that is that I work in a service position, and if my services aren't utilized, then my labor needs to be refocused, i.e., reassigned.
The problem with that is that I'm a house servant, and the master will put me out in the field picking cotton if I don't straighten up and get along with the missus and the kids. You see, I'm a secretary to fifteen attorneys, most of whom respect me, several of whom like me, a couple to whom I'm very close. There are 12 women and 3 men. The three men are straight. Of the 12 women, 2 are lesbian and 1 is asexual. I have known most of them for over ten years. At different times, I have thought each of them fascinating. This is not one of those times. And three of them despise me for breathing the same air as they.
My boss thinks I have an "edge." After giving it some thought, I agree with her. I've made an appointment to talk to my primary care physician about a referral to a psychologist and a prescription for an anti-depressant. Maybe drugs will even me out. God knows, the political situation for America and the world doesn't look very promising. This could be a long haul.
So there, I've come out and said it. I'm depressed and I'm going to get help. As for politics, I'll try to get zen about it. It's all cyclical. This too shall pass.