I found Sunday's paper this morning, so I thought yesterday was today.

Brenda, warn us to put down our coffee first! Miss What's Up Down South has the world's best collection of excuses turned in by kids in an anonymous school district that needs to stay anonymous as she probably has grandkids going there. At first I thought these excuses might be made up by the kids. I was very good at making up great excuses and signing my mother's name. To this day, our signatures look alike. But back to my point. After reading several, I had this sudden and awful realization that these were written by the parents. Lord, help us. This was my favorite:

"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it
was Sunday. "