Monday, April 26, 2004

Finding Time for Myself

Right now my life is more interesting to me than the campaign between Kerry and Bush. Kerry's fight is similar to mine, but it is not mine. My opposition to Bush does not make for a warm embrace of Kerry. I'm not sure why Kerry wants to be President other than his incredibly high opinion of himself. That's not going to be enough on November 2. As I've said many times before: Kerry is very smart, much smarter than I. He has a lot of friends who are smart. They are going to have a lot of money to wage this campaign. It is their business. I have given them my money and I pledge them my vote because I see the Republican Party as an evil mix of Christian bigots and capitalist opportunistic exploiters who control all three branches of government and about 98 percent of the wealth in this country that is not controlled by the government.

I wish I knew more about what Kerry is all about, but so far he just sounds like corporate Republicanism without the christian fundamentalists. As near as I can tell, his credibility to early primary voters was his hero-veteran status, and the nomination was decided before it got to California. That pisses me off. California and African-Americans find themselves in the same boat; we are taken for granted. It's probably going to take Barney Frank himself out here giving me a blowjob before I get enthusiastic for Kerry, and it's going to be Kerry--if and when I do, not JFK deux.

I think I'm burnt out on politics. Kerry can run his campaign without my opinion and probably do pretty good. California will probably go 60-40 for Kerry in November. Nothing I can do here will influence anything. I think if I can draw my focus back to the here and now of my life, I think my writing will be more interesting. I am not in the same league as some of you in my ability to focus, analyze and write. I'm not denigrating myself, I'm complimenting you. Who'd have thought this good ol' boy from East Texas would hang out with such swells?

I had one unsolicited comment from a nasty old queen who said she read my blog and thought I was bitter. I am only bitter when I talk about politics. I need to work my way past that. I'd like to take my blog in the direction of Winding Road in an Urban Area. Jaye shares intimacy with observation and experience. That's what I would like to do. I want to write more about popular culture and my interaction with it. I have no doubt as to her political persuasion, but that itself is not her focus. I do not want to be thought of as a bitter old queen, even to casual observers just passing through.

Meanwhile, I may have a date. A second date. The first one went real well. If a perfect world, I wouldn't have time to blog for at least a couple of days.